


Lingering Thoughts

by animehead



Category: Free!
Genre: Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 06:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animehead/pseuds/animehead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Rei thinks too much about what he wants, but how he's not quite ready for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lingering Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of lovely art by viria, which can be found here: http://viriassecrets.tumblr.com/post/73731490944/what-implied-reigisa-blowjobs-no-waaaaaay

They won’t go all the way.

Rei knows this because they’ve already spoken about it. He wants things to be perfect when he loses his virginity, wants it to happen at the right place, the right time, and the right moment. Nagisa has been extremely accepting of this, and there have been no issues between the two of them wanting more than the other is willing to give.

But the urge is still there.

Rei tries to ignore it on most occasions, and sometimes he’s able to. He’ll focus on a book, drown himself with knowledge, soak up theory after theory as if they’re keeping him alive. When he does this, the urges disappear, vanish as he feeds his mind and starves those particular primal desires. He feels like himself then, same ole Rei Ryugazaki, former track club member, current swim club member, and lover of all things beautiful. Everything is as it should be.

But then there are other times…

And Rei doesn’t know what’s happening to him, or who he is, or what he wants. No, that last part isn’t exactly true. He knows what he wants, feels it every time that mood washes over him. He’s incapable of ignoring it when he’s like that, no amount of books will help him overcome that feeling.

It consumes him.

Nagisa is always on his mind when it happens. Every single time. It’s even worse when he’s around— loud, exuberant, and pushy. Rei wants to tell him to calm down, to sit quietly, and think before both acting and speaking. But more than that, more than  _anything_ , Rei wants to bend Nagisa over, whisper filthy things into his cute little ear, and make him scream Rei’s name.

And that’s the part that scares him.

It’s becoming more difficult to be around Nagisa. The urge is constantly rising, and a certain appendage becomes painfully stiff and noticeable. Rei can’t think when that happens, and he sure as hell can’t swim.

He’s had to resort to drastic measures.

Well, not really drastic. Most of the time, splashing himself with cold water helps, so he’ll excuse himself to the locker for a moment or two to gain his composure. Other times, Rei finds himself standing in the bathroom stall, one hand wrapped around his cock, the other clamped over his mouth. He feels guilty, afterward.

The guilt lingers.

It follows him, tags along with him when he steps onto the train with Nagisa, clings to him when he settles himself into an empty seat. That awful guilt wraps around his torso and rests its invisible head against Rei’s chest, it’s sharp claws gently scraping at the skin covering his Adam’s apple.

And when the train comes to a halt at Nagisa’s stop and he doesn’t get off, the guilt squeezes Rei even tighter.

“What movie did you want to watch first, Rei-chan?” Nagisa asks. “Oh, I know. We should watch the scary one.”

“What’s the point of asking me which one I want to watch first if you’re just going to decide for me?” Rei stares down at his feet, moving his toes within his shoes, watching the tiny imprint the movement makes in the fabric.

“Because you always say,  _whatever you want to watch is fine_ ,” Nagisa replies, his voice deepening in an attempt to mimic Rei’s voice.

“I don’t sound like that.”

“Here’s our stop!” Nagisa shouts at no one in particular. He stands up, gripping Rei’s hand in his own and pulls him to his feet. “Let’s go Rei-chan.”

“…Yes,” Rei says. It’s the only word he can manage to get out because it feels like tiny electric pulses are shooting up his arm and all over his body. It doesn’t make any sense. He’s held Nagisa’s hand before. He’s even kissed him once or twice. He should be able to handle this, but his heart is racing.

Rei hopes his palm isn’t sweaty.

It’s almost a shock to him when they reach his house. Rei has spent the entire duration of their walk from the train stop to his house lost in thought. Nagisa is chattering away as usual, completely oblivious to the thoughts assaulting Rei’s mind.

Sometimes Rei envies Nagisa. Sometimes he wishes that he could be so blind to the things happening around him, so unaware of his thoughts and feelings. He bets Nagisa never has that problem. He bets Nagisa doesn’t dwell. After all, look at him, leaning down, sticking some stupid DVD into Rei’s DVD player, happily jabbering away about classic movie monsters.

He’s so easy-going.

“What’s wrong, Rei-chan?” Nagisa asks.

The question comes as a surprise to Rei. Nagisa isn’t even looking back at him. He’s still hovered in front of the DVD player, but his voice sounds so caring and sincere that it makes Rei’s stumble over his words.

“N-Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“You seem tense.” Nagisa still has his back to Rei, but the movie is starting and Rei knows it’s only a matter of time before Nagisa turns around to face him. “Do you not like me anymore?”

Rei’s taken back by that question, insulted even. Why on earth would Nagisa ask him something like that? “Don’t be ridiculous. Why would you assume that?”

“You barely said anything to me on the walk over here, and you haven’t looked me in the eye all day.”

“Yes, but it’s not… I know it seems…” Rei sighs. His heart almost shatters at the look on Nagisa’s face. He doesn’t want Nagisa to think that he doesn’t want to be with him. It’s just that he loses his ability to think clearly when Nagisa is around. He doesn’t want to say something stupid, doesn’t want to come on too strong. He wants to pull Nagisa close, tell him exactly how he feels every time their eyes meet.

But that would be so painfully embarrassing.

“Things happen when I’m around you.” It’s vague, Rei knows. But it’s all he can come up with without feeling like he wants to throw himself out of a window.

“What kind of things?” Nagisa asks.

“Things I have trouble controlling,” Rei replies, and he takes a step back when Nagisa steps forward.

“Like what?” Nagisa takes another step toward Rei, who takes yet another step backward. They keep this up until Rei is cornered, his back pressed against a wall. The tent in his pants is just as noticeable as the glasses on his face.

“It’s okay, Rei-chan,” Nagisa says. He chuckles softly, fingers tugging gently at the hem of Rei’s shirt. “Just because we agreed not to… you know… Doesn’t mean we can’t do other things.”

“Other things…” Rei repeats, his hands awkwardly rising into the air when Nagisa wraps his arms around his waist.

“Mmhm. Want me to show you?”

“I…” Rei chews nervously at his bottom lip, gasps when Nagisa’s hands slide under his shirt and caresses his back. “Y-Yes, please.”

It’s a rush.

There’s no other word to describe it. He’s not sure how they ended up on the bed or what happened to his clothes, but they are most certainly not on his body. Nagisa is equally nude, his skin warm as his chest presses against Rei’s own.

The softest of moans slips from Nagisa’s lips and into Rei’s ears, breath warm and words broken as he whimpers, blunt fingernails gently scratching at Rei’s shoulders. His cock is warm in Rei’s hand—hard, the tip oozing bits of precum as a result from each calculated stroke of Rei’s fist.

“Rei-chan…” Nagisa whimpers, and Rei finds that he absolutely loves that sound. There’s something about it that make him feel confident, and  _proud_.

Rei’s soaring.

It’s a natural high. Something that comes about each time Nagisa moans and leans into him. Rei can’t help observing every single one of Nagisa’s movements. The way he rolls his hips, the way he digs his teeth into his bottom lip, the way his thighs clench each time Rei swipes his thumb over the tip, smears precum across the slit, spreads his middle and index finger into a ‘V’ and drags them down the length of Nagisa’s cock. He manages this three times before Nagisa cries out his name and orgasms, his cum warm and thick as it spurts onto Rei’s belly.

“Oh my god, Rei-chan,” Nagisa says, his voice soft, breathless. “That was amazing.”

Rei just nods his head because he doesn’t think amazing quite covers exactly what that was. He wonders if Nagisa even realizes how beautiful he looked, moaning, his head thrown back in ecstasy.

Rei almost groans at the thought.

“Is it my turn to do you now?” Nagisa asks, and Rei wonders how he can be so direct about everything. It’s so embarrassing.

“You don’t have to, but… you can if you want.”

Nagisa rolls his eyes and chuckles as he slides off of Rei’s lap. “Would it be okay if I did something a little different?”

“Different?”

“You can tell me to stop if you don’t like it.”

Rei’s not sure what to expect, but he trusts Nagisa so he agrees. “I suppose that would be okay.”

“Good,” Nagisa says, and he does a gesture with his hands that almost looks like he’s shooing Rei away. “Scoot back.”

Rei is confused, but he complies, mainly because he’s curious as to what Nagisa has planned. “Like this?”

“Mm, a little more. All the way.”

“Is this better?” Rei asks, his back pressed against a pillow leaning against the headboard.

“Yep,” Nagisa answers. “That’s perfect.”

And he moves to the edge of the bed, lifts the edge of the blanket, and crawls underneath it.

“What on earth are you doing Nagis—ahh!” Rei covers his mouth with both hands, trying his best to stifle another shout from tumbling from his lips. Nagisa’s mouth is incredibly warm, wetness surrounding Rei’s cock as the other boy’s head rises and descends, raising and lowering the blanket along with it.

Rei’s hand falls to Nagisa’s head, fingers gripping the blanket and a fistful of cherry blond hair. His entire body shakes, and the hand over his mouth clamps down even tighter. He feels himself coming apart, every muscle in his body going rigid. He knows he’s close, knows that the inevitable is quickly approaching.

Rei tugs helplessly at Nagisa’s hair, tries to warn him that he’s reached his limit. He knows what will happen if Nagisa continues, can only imagine the positively horrified expression on Nagisa’s face. He doesn’t want it to happen, doesn’t want to degrade Nagisa’s perfect mouth anymore than he’s already doing.

But Nagisa won’t let up.

And Rei is helpless. He’s too weak to push Nagisa’s head away, in too much pleasure to demand that he stop. It doesn’t matter how hard he tries to be silent, doesn’t matter how tightly his hand covers his mouth.

Rei shouts when he cums, hips jerking almost violently, fucking Nagisa’s mouth, cum flooding his tongue, forcing him to swallow or spit.

He swallows.

Rei’s entire face is red, both his hands clamped over his mouth in utter amazement. His ears are burning, shoulders slumped forward, eyes wide. He can’t believe it happened. He doesn’t know what to say or even how to begin apologizing.

Nagisa wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stares up at Rei with a concerned look on his face. He gently places his hands on Rei’s arm, warm and reassuring. “Is there something wrong, Rei-chan?”

Rei just shakes his head because he’s unsure if he can bring his lips to form words.

“Was it good? Did you like it?”

Rei nods.

“Do you need some time to get yourself together, Rei-chan?”

Again, Rei nods.

Nagisa smiles and leans down. He kisses the tip of Rei’s flaccid cock and chuckles at the sound that Rei makes in response. “Take all the time you need”, he says, softly, his gentle words almost drowned out by the sound of screaming and a chainsaw coming from the television. 


End file.
